Lopladcet is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, capable crow.

Lopladcet created the Sun six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lopladcet, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Lopladcet, he will turn you into a rock.

Lopladcet's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Lopladcet's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Do not jump in public.

3. You must never eat cucumbers.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Retreat if three voles approach from the west.