Tifhincattip is a god.
She takes the form of a large, awe-inspiring pig.
Tifhincattip created a photon two trillion years ago.
If you believe in Tifhincattip, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.
If you do not believe in Tifhincattip, she will turn you into a slug.
Tifhincattip's most sacred site is Kerris in England.
Tifhincattip's Holy Commandments
1. Never talk about cell theory.
2. Never sing in holy places.
3. Fast once a month.
4. Never think ill of sick grasshopers.
5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.