Rilkemhak is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, self-assured hedgehog.

Rilkemhak created the Virgo Supercluster eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rilkemhak, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Rilkemhak, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Rilkemhak's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Rilkemhak's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if eight manatees approach from the north.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Hide from violet pigs for they are unholy.

4. Retreat if seven monkeys approach from the south.

5. Always stare at clouds.