Tettistandut is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, witless octopus.

Tettistandut created the cosmos eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tettistandut, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Tettistandut, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Tettistandut's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Tettistandut's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Tettistandut eight times a day.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Never laugh in the presence of grasshopers.

4. Never eat lentils.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Tettistandut.