Vonkpitrak is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, omniscient tortoise.

Vonkpitrak created Africa nine million years ago.

If you believe in Vonkpitrak, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Vonkpitrak, he will come to you in dreams.

Vonkpitrak's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Vonkpitrak's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. You must love Vonkpitrak.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Always obey Vonkpitrak's priests.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.