Yogflowaf is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, clever lobster.

Yogflowaf created a quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yogflowaf, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Yogflowaf, it will not invite you to parties.

Yogflowaf's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Yogflowaf's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. You must pray to Yogflowaf six times a day.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Never paint your hands orange.

5. Yogflowaf loves turtles, so they must be honoured.