Dutcebflow is a god.

It takes the form of a large, unjust newt.

Dutcebflow created the planet Earth eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dutcebflow, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Dutcebflow, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Dutcebflow's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Dutcebflow's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Dutcebflow on top of all buildings.

2. Never think ill of sick tapirs.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Hide if seven sheep approach from the east.

5. Never eat green fruit.