Tiglarpdog Bitnilgeb is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, duplicitous squid.

Tiglarpdog Bitnilgeb created dark energy four billion years ago.

If you believe in Tiglarpdog Bitnilgeb, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Tiglarpdog Bitnilgeb, she will refuse to believe in you.

Tiglarpdog Bitnilgeb's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Tiglarpdog Bitnilgeb's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your neck.

2. Do not eat cherries.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Tiglarpdog Bitnilgeb.

5. Never pour water over plants.