Dumteenquatcetsak is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, boastful frog.

Dumteenquatcetsak created the planet Venus three billion years ago.

If you believe in Dumteenquatcetsak, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Dumteenquatcetsak, he will turn you into a frog.

Dumteenquatcetsak's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Dumteenquatcetsak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Always help moths.

3. Always help dogs in need.

4. Do not shave your hands.

5. Never talk about black holes.