Kapquartpib is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, smart bird.

Kapquartpib created the planet Jupiter four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kapquartpib, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Kapquartpib, she will make you grow a tail.

Kapquartpib's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Kapquartpib's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt dogs.

2. Do not wear tin on your body.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Kapquartpib must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Never go into fawn rooms.