Fidkarlist is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, caring turtle.

Fidkarlist created the universe nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fidkarlist, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Fidkarlist, he will turn you into a mouse.

Fidkarlist's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Fidkarlist's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Always wear mauve.