Rotarparn is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, all-knowing newt.

Rotarparn created a quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rotarparn, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Rotarparn, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Rotarparn's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Rotarparn's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear violet.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Do not speak about pineapples.

4. Never wear white tights.

5. Never skip near foxes.