Vilcubkad is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, witty wombat.

Vilcubkad created the planet Mars three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vilcubkad, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Vilcubkad, he will come to you in dreams.

Vilcubkad's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Vilcubkad's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about ducks.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Do not eat cherries.

4. Retreat if eight mites approach from the north.

5. Never write about the weak nuclear force.