Linlamhin is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, irritating squid.

Linlamhin created a charm quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Linlamhin, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Linlamhin, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Linlamhin's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Linlamhin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not run in public.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Hide if three pigs approach from the north.

4. Always look after injured foxes.

5. Never feed spinach to snakes while wearing brown jumpers.