Quartmisfoss is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, charitable hedgehog.

Quartmisfoss created light nine million years ago.

If you believe in Quartmisfoss, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Quartmisfoss, it will come to you in dreams.

Quartmisfoss' most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Quartmisfoss' Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no otters in a room before entering it.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never paint your neck brown.

4. Always help ducks.

5. Never wear stockings.