Flagmegbugnartaf Logquamfig is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, almighty butterfly.

Flagmegbugnartaf Logquamfig created carbon six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flagmegbugnartaf Logquamfig, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Flagmegbugnartaf Logquamfig, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Flagmegbugnartaf Logquamfig's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Flagmegbugnartaf Logquamfig's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from gray mites, for they are unholy.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Flagmegbugnartaf Logquamfig.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Always make sure there are no gulls in a building before entering it.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.