Carquartjad is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, unfair yak.

Carquartjad created carbon six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Carquartjad, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Carquartjad, it will send minions to preach to you.

Carquartjad's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Carquartjad's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Carquartjad on top of all buildings.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Do not hurt voles.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Do not listen to music.