Bissbonkcet is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, weak butterfly.

Bissbonkcet created the Small Magellanic Cloud nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bissbonkcet, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Bissbonkcet, he will ignore you.

Bissbonkcet's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Bissbonkcet's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bissbonkcet.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not eat bread.