Yartafhig is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, unsympathetic shark.

Yartafhig created light eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Yartafhig, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Yartafhig, she will turn you into a dog.

Yartafhig's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Yartafhig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Yartafhig loves horses, so they must be honoured.

4. Never think about moons.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.