Panaftipveen is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, all-knowing octopus.

Panaftipveen created the planet Saturn eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Panaftipveen, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Panaftipveen, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Panaftipveen's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Panaftipveen's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured tapirs.

2. Panaftipveen loves sharks, so they must be honoured.

3. Put Panaftipveen first in all things.

4. Do not take Panaftipveen's name in vain.

5. Never eat bark.