Armtonkfum is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, benevolent faun.

Armtonkfum created the Cigar Galaxy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Armtonkfum, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Armtonkfum, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Armtonkfum's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Armtonkfum's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Never wear rings.

3. Doves are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Do not kill birds.

5. Do not drink alcohol.