Yarpmisfit is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, staggering slug.

Yarpmisfit created the planet Saturn four million years ago.

If you believe in Yarpmisfit, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Yarpmisfit, he will turn you into a rat.

Yarpmisfit's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Yarpmisfit's Holy Commandments

1. Yarpmisfit loves seals, so they must be honoured.

2. Do not sing in public.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Never wear rings.

5. Never hurt ants.