Mittapgeb is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, amazing mongoose.

Mittapgeb created everything that exists seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mittapgeb, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Mittapgeb, it will send minions to preach to you.

Mittapgeb's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Mittapgeb's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip near gulls.

2. Pray towards the west.

3. Never feed turnips to whales while wearing purple dresses.

4. Hide from magenta eagles for they are unholy.

5. Do not cook food in pots.