Zenbesslen Pinvadrull is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, narcissistic beaver.

Zenbesslen Pinvadrull created the Sombrero Galaxy three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zenbesslen Pinvadrull, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Zenbesslen Pinvadrull, he will turn you into a rock.

Zenbesslen Pinvadrull's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Zenbesslen Pinvadrull's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Never wear kilts.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Zenbesslen Pinvadrull.