Monyokquaf is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, unfair cow.

Monyokquaf created the Small Magellanic Cloud eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Monyokquaf, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Monyokquaf, it will destroy your home planet.

Monyokquaf's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Monyokquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Erect nine copper sculptures of Monyokquaf on top of important buildings.

2. Never sit in holy places.

3. Do not take Monyokquaf's name in vain.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never eat turnips.