Cemnabtit is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, competent parrot.

Cemnabtit created an atom three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cemnabtit, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Cemnabtit, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Cemnabtit's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Cemnabtit's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Always help sick hamsters.