Getcaptadpadquagtafhakarf is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, egotistical bear.

Getcaptadpadquagtafhakarf created the Andromeda Galaxy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Getcaptadpadquagtafhakarf, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Getcaptadpadquagtafhakarf, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Getcaptadpadquagtafhakarf's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Getcaptadpadquagtafhakarf's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Getcaptadpadquagtafhakarf four times a day.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate dolphins.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Hide if nine foxes approach from the west.

5. Put Getcaptadpadquagtafhakarf first in all things.