Lakkabhug is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, clever giraffe.

Lakkabhug created dark matter twelve years ago.

If you believe in Lakkabhug, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Lakkabhug, he will turn you into a worm.

Lakkabhug's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Lakkabhug's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt goats.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not speak about turnips.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Lakkabhug.