Yartnurlrutt Kapkapmab is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, confident horse.

Yartnurlrutt Kapkapmab created the Sombrero Galaxy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yartnurlrutt Kapkapmab, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Yartnurlrutt Kapkapmab, she will boil you in a big pot.

Yartnurlrutt Kapkapmab's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Yartnurlrutt Kapkapmab's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

5. Do not cook food in pots.