Row is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, narcissistic manatee.

Row created the cosmos six billion years ago.

If you believe in Row, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Row, he will try to impress you with trees.

Row's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Row's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in violet rooms.

2. Never think about galaxies.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Fast once a month.