Rowyakxuck is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, overgenerous zebra.

Rowyakxuck created a quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rowyakxuck, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Rowyakxuck, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Rowyakxuck's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Rowyakxuck's Holy Commandments

1. Rowyakxuck must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Do not wear silicon on your body.

4. Never think ill of sick turtles.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.