Jopbadvab is a god.

He takes the form of a small, passionate hippopotamus.

Jopbadvab created snails seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jopbadvab, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Jopbadvab, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Jopbadvab's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Jopbadvab's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not drink water in red rooms.

5. You must never eat nuts.