Cadflytail is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, all-powerful meerkat.

Cadflytail created the Whirlpool Galaxy six million years ago.

If you believe in Cadflytail, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Cadflytail, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Cadflytail's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Cadflytail's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always make sure there are no monkeys in a building before entering it.

3. Pray towards the north.

4. Do not hurt great tits.

5. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.