Cardonhud Vabwottar Tofhudlak is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, caring dryad.

Cardonhud Vabwottar Tofhudlak created Africa six million years ago.

If you believe in Cardonhud Vabwottar Tofhudlak, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Cardonhud Vabwottar Tofhudlak, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Cardonhud Vabwottar Tofhudlak's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Cardonhud Vabwottar Tofhudlak's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat apples.

2. Never bounce in holy places.

3. Never go into blue rooms.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Do not cook food in pots.