Tigmifcan is a god.

It takes the form of a small, caring jackal.

Tigmifcan created the Virgo Supercluster six billion years ago.

If you believe in Tigmifcan, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Tigmifcan, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Tigmifcan's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Tigmifcan's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Tigmifcan.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate horses.

4. Pray towards the east.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.