Janbesshun is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, selfish cobra.

Janbesshun created the Large Magellanic Cloud nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Janbesshun, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Janbesshun, he will turn you into a snail.

Janbesshun's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Janbesshun's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if nine rats approach from the east.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Janbesshun.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Always pray immersed in water.