Linvagrul is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, calm chinchilla.

Linvagrul created a photon two billion years ago.

If you believe in Linvagrul, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Linvagrul, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Linvagrul's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Linvagrul's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Do not dye your hair purple.

3. Never sit in the presence of capybaras.

4. Snails are not to be trusted.

5. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.