Xucgamwan is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, intelligent beaver.

Xucgamwan created a down quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Xucgamwan, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Xucgamwan, it will turn you into a slug.

Xucgamwan's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Xucgamwan's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Xucgamwan.

3. Always wear indigo.

4. Always help shrews.

5. Never feed melons to voles while wearing brown stockings.