Rilljamxuc is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, strong turtle.

Rilljamxuc created the Black Eye Galaxy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rilljamxuc, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Rilljamxuc, he will be very sad.

Rilljamxuc's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Rilljamxuc's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear mauve clothing.

2. Rilljamxuc must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Sharks are not to be trusted.

4. Always treat seals with great respect.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate porpoises.