Larntadsaw is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, emotional slug.

Larntadsaw created the Cigar Galaxy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Larntadsaw, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Larntadsaw, he will boil you in a big pot.

Larntadsaw's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Larntadsaw's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never wear kilts.

5. Never look in ponds.