Gutlapwignurt is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, happy guinea pig.

Gutlapwignurt created light six million years ago.

If you believe in Gutlapwignurt, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Gutlapwignurt, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Gutlapwignurt's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Gutlapwignurt's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate rats.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gutlapwignurt.

5. Gutlapwignurt loves voles, so they must be honoured.