Jiphitflan is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, astonishing coyote.

Jiphitflan created tapeworms twelve years ago.

If you believe in Jiphitflan, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Jiphitflan, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Jiphitflan's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Jiphitflan's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about nebulae.

2. Do not bounce in public.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Do not hurt nematodes.