Lipkamjigdad is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, self-confident monkey.

Lipkamjigdad created viruses four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lipkamjigdad, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Lipkamjigdad, it will turn you into a frog.

Lipkamjigdad's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Lipkamjigdad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear tin on your body.

2. Never write about galaxies.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.