Cunnarlwit is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, capable lobster.

Cunnarlwit created humankind nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cunnarlwit, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Cunnarlwit, he will turn you into a plant.

Cunnarlwit's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Cunnarlwit's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention doves.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Do not hurt geese.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Do not trade with those who eat cherries.