Basstunvagwab is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, moody shrew.

Basstunvagwab created viruses nine million years ago.

If you believe in Basstunvagwab, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Basstunvagwab, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Basstunvagwab's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Basstunvagwab's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Do not eat cherries.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Mites are not to be trusted.