Teenyiksin is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, quiet hare.

Teenyiksin created the Whirlpool Galaxy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Teenyiksin, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Teenyiksin, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Teenyiksin's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Teenyiksin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Hide from purple manatees for they are unholy.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Never write about galaxies.

5. Do not shave your neck.