Nakboddon is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, dishonest raven.

Nakboddon created Africa three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nakboddon, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Nakboddon, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Nakboddon's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Nakboddon's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Nakboddon.

2. Never skip in holy places.

3. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

4. Do not dye your hair green.

5. Never pour water over plants.