Nibtapfig is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, unthoughtful ferret.

Nibtapfig created a Higgs boson eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nibtapfig, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Nibtapfig, he will not care at all.

Nibtapfig's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Nibtapfig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. You must never eat carrots.

3. Never wear blue skirts.

4. Run away from pink tortoises, for they are unholy.

5. Do not eat aubergines.