Quagflagflap is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, unjust sheep.

Quagflagflap created dark matter five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quagflagflap, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Quagflagflap, she will destroy your home planet.

Quagflagflap's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Quagflagflap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Never look at stars.

4. You must pray to Quagflagflap five times a day.

5. Never play with disobedient children.