Arpsawyarl is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, self-assured monkey.

Arpsawyarl created time and space three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Arpsawyarl, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Arpsawyarl, she will destroy your home planet.

Arpsawyarl's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Arpsawyarl's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Never sing near cats.

4. Never sit in holy places.

5. Do not take Arpsawyarl's name in vain.